Now Start Again

The threat of quicksand is always there waiting, the absurdity we must reconcile.  An agile mind can dance around it frequently enough so as to defer paralysis.  Coping is the one thing that ought to be taught, or rather arrived at by undoing the habits formed through the caked-on negligence of present day cultural drift.  We must reclaim the individual and the power of belief.  Smash all belief-structures, and not just the easy ones like those of ghosts and angels, but of the firmer kind, the still revered kind, the kind of angles and probabilities and assertions of power and fair play.

There are always going to be transitions, the vulnerable stitches of life caught between make-believes, where the emptiness of all positions seep in.  In one respect this is a good thing -the habit unstuck, we are allowed to start again and pleasure in the renewal.  I have experienced the reboot more times than I can count, and at first it is hard to accept, things feel senseless and small but before long I feel full of new air and buoyant because of it.  If one clings too astutely to the importance of identity, that one is valued according to how resolute this identity remains in the face of all obstacles, if one adheres to any philosophy too passionately, this rebooting, which I come to think of as natural as bowel movements, will wound more than it should.  There is no shame in being absurd unless you hold fast to such a conceit.

The strange confluence of these moments make for some interesting experiences.  One dreads them, longs to be free of them, but at the same time they bring with them the opportunity to start again fresher, they reaffirm the virtue of play and distilling life to what you want without being dependent on some outward system to measure up to.  Without God, without peers, without the authority of ideas, you are left to your own devices, and in that comes the dread, the dread of having to be responsible for your own happiness.  But when you see that clearly, see the happiness as yours (at least for awhile, for nothing lasts) than you may let go with every morsel of your being and delight in the life you got.  Nobody really wants anything forever, it is an absurdity of the mind, an implant tic made up by advertisers to sell product. The fleeting is more enjoyable, the threat of losing it all gives it value.  The reboot is your salvation.  Feel the dread, the sadness, the loneliness, the absurdity of everything, knowing it too is fleeting, and the possibilities are endless if you give it a chance.